drakeandjoshfandomcom-20200214-history
The Demonator/Transcript
Josh: with a yo-yo My brother, Drake, he's all about immediate gratification. Drake: to the oven There's brownies in there, and I want 'em. Josh: Immediate gratification means when you want something, you gotta have it like right now. Drake: I could be eating a brownie right now, if it wasn't for Josh. Josh: See, I came up with this amazing brownie recipe when I was 9 years old. Drake: He calls them fudgie-boos. Josh: the yo-yo in the air I named them fudgie-boos? Come on, I was 9. Drake: So tonight, he spends like an hour and a half mixing his brownie ingredients in a bowl. Josh: And while I was making them, tonight, Drake's like standing over me the whole time. Drake: He wouldn't even let me like the spoon. Josh: And he keeps going "Let me lick the spoon, let me lick the spoon." Drake: Just wanted the lick the spoon. Josh: I don't want his tongue on my spoon. Drake: impatiently Man, when are they gonne be ready? Josh: at his watch They'll be ready in about... 25 more minutes. And you know what? Drake: Okay, and you know what? Josh: They'll be worth the wait. Drake: off I am not waiting. an oven mitt on and gets the brownies out Josh: Ya see, Drake's gonna learn something tonight. He's gonna learn that some things are just worth waiting for. Drake: the batter Ohh. again Oh, it's like warm brownie soup. Josh: You realize that patience is a virtue. Drake: My god, why didn't I do this like five minutes ago? blue arrow wooshes and goes to the upstairs window, then a green arrow wooshes TV Announcer: Next chat, I'm here live at Mystic Mountain, where you can literally feel the excitement, because everyone here is buzzing about this new big, bad roller coaster called The Demonator. Drake: Oh my god. Josh: the door and has a scrapbook Drake, check it out. Drake: Shh. Josh: You know how Mindy and I always write little notes to each other in class? Drake: Yeah, don't care. Josh: She ceived every note that I ever wrote on and put in this scrapbook for me. See? Drake: Yeah, yeah, nerds in love. Now sush. Josh: You know, this is like the nicest present anyone's ever given me. You should do this act like you care. Drake: Ugh. Dude, this is a news report about The Demonator. Josh: the scrapbook in the air The Demonator?! on the couch next to Drake What'd they say? What'd they say? Drake: That it's the fastest, the scariest, most intensible, most dangerous roller coaster in the world. Josh: Ooh-woah! Drake: And we are gonna ride it tomorrow, the first day it opens. talking on TV Josh: Hey, you wanna practice? sighs Drake: Okay, I'll set the move. up, turns the TV off and runs to the keyboard and presses a button to play the music, then runs back to Josh put their arms up and lower them pretending they're on a roller coaster Drake: Ready? Going up. clicking noise Josh: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen to Mystic Mountain. While riding The Demonator, remember to keep all hands and feet-- Drake: Going down! screams wildly as Megan walks in and Josh both scream widly side to side Drake: points Look out, torque's through. and Josh go wild as they see her Megan: What is this? Some new kind of boob dance? Josh: stops You're just jealous, little girl. Drake: stops Yeah, because we are gonna ride The Demonator. Josh: The first day it opens. Drake: Oh yeah, and, uh, you're not. Megan: Uh, if tomorrow's the first day it opens, why are those people in line getting on right now? Josh: Huh? stops the music and turns the TV back on Announcer: Mystic Mountain officials have just announced they'll be opening The Demonator tonight, a special sneak preview for a few very lucky roller coaster fans. Josh: You said we were gonna ride it the first day it opens. Drake: Who knew they would open it tonight? Megan: Aw, it's okay. You guys can ride it tomorrow, the second day it's open. leaves Drake: Josh's shoulder Hey, don't worry, we're gonna ride The Demonator tonight. Count on it. Josh: Awesome. Hey, one more quick practice one? Drake: Yeah, let's go. back to the keyboard to start the music and sits back down on the couch with Josh as they practice again Okay, ready? clicking noise And no hands! lift their arms up as Josh screams wildly Josh: And no feet! lift their legs too high and they knock the couch back and fall off song plays to black camera zooms in at the house with a blue arrow wooshing; Papa Nichols is laying on the couch sleeping Walter: Can we please hurry? I do not want to be late. on his jacket Audrey: Are you sure we should go out tonight? What if Papa Nichols needs us? Walter: Well, what's he gonna need us for? Audrey: Well, the man had surgery today, and he's 81 years old. Walter: Look, he's my grandfather. Let me worry about it, okay? Audrey: Okay, but what if he wakes up? Walter: I am not missing the Newsie Awards! I could win this year. Audrey: Oh, Walter, you've been nominated for Best Weather Man 5 yeas in a row, and they always give it to Bruce Winchell. Walter: Do not mention Bruce Winchell's name in this house! and Josh walk out of the hall and get ready to go out Josh: Hi, parents. Drake: Bye, parents. are about to leave Walter: Woah, woah, woah, woah. Where do you boys think you're going? Drake: Uh, to make history. Josh: We're going to ride The Demonator. Audrey: No, you promised that you'd stay here and watch Papa Nichols. Drake: Ugh, fine. Here, come on, he can come with us. Come on, Josh, grab his feet. Josh: Why do I always have to grab the feet? lifts Papa Nichols' shoulders while Josh lifts his feet Walter: Guys, you can't take your great-grandfather to ride The Demonator. Josh: Sure we can. Drake: Yeah, you only have to be this tall. puts his hand about yay high Walter: The man just had surgery, and he's heavily medicated. Drake: Oh, come on, he fought in World War II. Josh: The Demonator is nothing for a man who's seen combat! Audrey: Okay, listen to my words. You boys are going to stay here and take care of Papa Nichols, are we clear? Josh: Yes. Drake: Fine. Megan: out of the kitchen with a bouquet of flowers Hey, Walter. Take these to the Newsie Awards for me, would ya? Audrey: Oh, how sweet, she got you flowers for your big night. Megan: No, they're for Bruce Winchell. Walter: Winchell? Well, how could you buy flowers for my competition? Megan: Have you seen his hair? Audrey: Such great hair. Megan: It's like cotton candy, but brown. Walter: Stop thinking about it! Come on, let's just go so I can lose already. Audrey: Alright. Walter: Megan And when did she start calling me Walter? Audrey: I don't know. Uh, boys, the awards will be over around 10:30, so we should be home by 11:00. Walter: to Drake and Josh with the flowers DO NOT leave this house. Josh: We won't. Drake: We're not going anywhere. Walter: Alright, good night. Audrey: Mmm-hmm. leave and the door closes gets his cell phone out and starts dialing Josh: We're gonna ride The Demonator tonight, are we? Drake: Oh, yeah. Josh: Well, what about Papa Nichols? Drake: I got a plan. it to his ear as a green arrow wooshes and the camera zooms in at the house a blue arrow wooshes, the boys are waiting for their friends to arrive as the doorbell rings Drake: Oh, good, they're here. the door as Craig and Eric come in, with Craig holding a bundt cake Eric: Hey, Drake, thanks for inviting us to the party. Craig: We brought you a bundt cake. it to Drake as he and Eric walk into the living room Drake: Uh, thanks. Eric: Um, where's the party? Craig: Are we early? You know I don't like being first ones at a party. Eric: Don't start with me! Josh: Guys, guys, you're not early. Drake: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you see this old guy? Craig: Yes. Eric: I see him. Josh: This is our great-grandfather, Papa Nichols. Drake: Yeah, and he loves to party. So, uh, you guys hang out with him 'cause Josh and I got things to do. Josh: chuckles You take care. Eric: Wait a minute. Josh: his jacket Yo. Drake: Yeah? Eric: You duped us. Drake: Yeah. Craig: This is an outrage! Eric: Come on, Craig, we are outie. Drake: Okay, I guess you guys don't wanna watch these digitally remastered episodes of Space Trek. Josh: In widescreen DVD format. show them the DVD as Eric comes to take a look at it Eric: Oh my god. The entire first season! Craig: With bonus footage! Eric: And the alternate ending to episode 21 where Spodnick dies! to Drake and Josh Alright, we'll stay. Drake: Have fun. Josh: See ya. Eric: Oh, wait. Uh, when's he supposed to wake up? Drake: Don't worry about it. Josh: Yeah, he just had surgery. He's on tons of medication. Drake: He'll totally sleep through the night. Josh: You ready? Drake: We're ready to demonate! Megan: arrives I can't believe you. Papa Nichols just had surgery, and now his own great-grandsons are just gonna abandon him? I'm disgusted. And, I just might have to tell Mom and Dad. Drake: You wanna ride The Demonator with us tonight, don't you? Megan: I'll get my jacket. looks at his watch as a blue arrow wooshes to Mystic Mountain, now a green arrow wooshes to the line as a guard opens the gate for some people going on the ride Josh and Megan are at the line, with Josh having a snack Drake: 15. Only 15 people away from riding The Demonator. Josh: I can't believe we get to ride it the first night it opens. Uh-oh, I just had a bad thought. Megan: What? You might grow old, never get married, and die alone? Josh: No. But thank you for pointing out that possibility. Drake: What's your bad thought? Josh: What if The Demonator's not as great as we think it's gonna be? Drake: to Josh You take that back! Josh: I'm just saying, what if it's all hype? a bite his cinnamon stick Speaker: Please exit The Demonator to your left. passengers walk out of the ride Man: Oh, man, that ride was insane. I feel like part of me has died, but another part has just been born. out Little Boy: I don't even care that I puked. Megan: Yeah, it's all hype. Drake: Oh, man, this is gonna be the greatest night of our lives. Josh: Ah, chew that. another bite of his stick Uh-oh, I gotta pee. Megan: Now? Drake: Dude, we're almost to the front. Can't you hold it? Josh: Maybe. But since we're all gonna be sitting on the same row-- Drake & Megan: Go pee. Josh: I'll be right back. to go to the restroom Megan: If he doesn't make it back in time, we're still gonna go on the ride, right? Drake: If he's mauled by a bear, we're still going on the ride. blue arrow wooshes and cut to home with Papa Nichols still sleeping and muttering as Craig and Eric watch him Craig: Drake said he'd be asleep all night. Papa Nichols: and wakes up Where am I? What's happened? Eric: He's disoriented. Papa Nichols: What did you call me? Eric: Oh. Uh, nothing, sir. over to Craig I was just, uh... Papa Nichols: What have you done with the rest of my unit?! Craig: What does he mean, "his unit?" Nichols picks up his slipper Eric: I guess he thinks he's back in World War II. Papa Nichols: his slipper as a cell phone General Patton, sir. It's Sergeant Nichols. I've just been captured by two German nerds! Eric: Oh. No, no, sir. We're not Germans. Papa Nichols: That's just what a German would say! Eric: No, no, no. You don't understand-- Papa Nichols: Eric by the shirt No, no. You will not capture me. him in the head Ever! Craig: Eric! Papa Nichols: mumbling Get outta here! screams as Papa Nichols throws him over the couch Papa Nichols: USA! USA! USA! running off USA! USA! USA! USA! and Eric feel themselves in pain as a blue arrow wooshes and cut to The Demonator with Drake and Megan waiting for Josh Drake: Why is it taking Josh so long to pee? Megan: 44 ounces of lemonade can only travel so fast. accidentally unlocks the rope and is with other people Burly Guy: Hey. Hey. This kid with the large head is trying to cut in line. Josh: What? No, no, no, I was already standing-- Burly Guy: No cuttin'! Josh: What are you talking--? the people in line talk at once Angry Woman in Line: No cuttin'. Blonde Woman: Hey, get back of the line, punk! Josh: Drake! Megan! Drake! Drake: Hey. Hey, Josh. Come up here. Josh: I'm trying! and Megan make their way through the line Drake: Come on. Josh: Please. Drake: Sorry, excuse me. It's alright, just a second. Josh: Drake, come on, please. Drake: under the gate and grabs onto Josh Here, Josh. Josh: Just let us through, come on. Drake: No, no, it's okay. He's with me. Burly Guy: Oh, no, now everybody's cutting in line! talking at once Blonde Woman: Security! Guards! guards approach Officer Jackson: walkie-talkie I got cutters at The Demonator, send back up. the rope Okay, back of the line! Josh: What? Drake: Back of the line? Josh: We did not cut. Burly Guy: They did too. I seen them. Josh: What? Drake: What are you talking? two guards send Drake, Josh and Megan to the back of the line as everybody claps a blue arrow wooshes and cut to home with Craig and Eric looking for Papa Nichols Eric: out the window Papa Nichols? Craig: up from the kitchen Papa Nichols? Eric: Papa Nichols? Craig: Papa Nichols? Eric: World War II's over. Craig: And we're not Germans. Eric: We're honor students. Craig: out of the kitchen and meets up with Eric Why is he hiding from us? Eric: Well, I guess he's confused on the count of all that medication they gave him after his surgery. Craig: Well, where could he be? look up as Papa Nichols screams and falls from the ceiling and lands on top of them Papa Nichols: Ahh, ahh. to them USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! green arrow wooshes and cut to The Demonator as the two guards move Drake, Josh and Megan to the end Megan: I can't believe you got us sent to the back of the line. Drake: You just HAD to pee. Josh: Sorry. Yeah, next time, I'll just let my bladder explode. Megan: Thank you. Josh: at his watch Hey, guys, it's not so bad, we'll still be able to ride The Demonator and be home before Mom and Dad. Megan: Oh, really? at a sign saying "Wait time from this point is 2:00 hours" "Wait time from this point: 2 hours." Drake: 2 hours? big man with dark hair and a dark beard approaches Josh: Hey, no cuttin'! man turns She said it. looks stern and scene fades to black at Mystic Mountain, a blue arrow wooshes to The Demonator with Drake, Josh and Megan still at the end Drake: This close. We were this close to riding The Demonator. Megan: And now we get to wait 2 hours. Josh: Look, I said I was sorry. What are you guys, just enjoying making me feel all bad? Drake: Yeah. Megan: Yes. Josh: Alright, then. little boy dressed as a pirate and his mom arrive Pirate Boy: Josh with his sword I'm a pirate! Arr. Josh: chuckles Yeah, you're a cute little pirate. Arr, right back atcha. But, uh, let's not poke other people with your sword, alright? Okay. Guys, I'm just-- Pirate Boy: Josh again Arr, walk the plank, matey! Arr! Josh: Excuse me, are you his mother? Pirate Boy's Mom: Yeah. Josh: Could you please say something? Pirate Boy's Mom: Sure. Quit bugging my kid, he's trying to play pirate! Pirate Boy: Arr! Josh: Well, I see where the boy gets his charm. Pirate Boy's Mom: Look, smart mouth. Josh: You wanna tussle?! Drake: Josh, will you cool it before you start a fight and get us sent to the back of the line again? Megan: Oh, yeah, he could be sent all the way back THERE. to the very end Josh: at his watch Oh, man, it's getting late. Maybe we should just skip the ride and go home. Drake: Oh. You get us kicked to the back of the line, and now you just wanna go home? Josh: Look, if we don't beat Mom and Dad home, they'll find out we left Papa Nichols, and they'll kill us. Drake: Well, we're gonna beat them home. And quit whining about Papa Nichols, Craig and Eric are all over it. green arrow wooshes and cut to home with Eric looking in Drake and Josh's room for Papa Nichols Eric: a bunch of pillows lined up on the couch covered with a blanket Craig, I found him! He's upstairs! is downstairs Craig: Ohh. hollars Thank goodness! Eric: to the couch Papa Nichols. Papa Nichols, are you feeling better? opens the covers, but Papa Nichols isn't there until he traps him in a pillow case Papa Nichols: Ahh! Eric: Hey! Craig, help me! hears the noise as Papa Nichols screams and takes Eric, then throws him out the window Papa Nichols: his slipper as a cell phone General Patton, I just found another one. salutes and marches off green arrow wooshes and cut to Mystic Mountain and a blue arrow wooshes with Drake, Josh and Megan almost to the front Drake: Hey. Hey, look, we're almost to the front of the line again. Megan: It's about time. gasps Look, it's Milfred Mouse! Mouse is with three people Drake: Uh, aren't you a little old to get excited about a guy in a bad mouse costume? Josh: Milfred Mouse, over here! I love you so much! Mouse walks over to the line as Josh laughs and he high-fives everybody, then pats him on the head mutters Pirate Boy: Yo, mouse. Mouse. his tail off Ha-ha. Mouse feels his butt noticing his tail has been off Josh: Hey. the tail from him You do not yank off Milfred Mouse's tail. Drake: Josh, stay out of it. Milfred Mouse: Hey, buddy. his axe You do not yank off my tail. Josh: Yeah, I know, he's the one-- Milfred Mouse: his tail Yeah, yeah, how would you like it if I yank off your tail? tickles him and Josh yells, but he doesn't have a tail Josh: Cool it, buddy. him away Milfred Mouse: Oh-hoh, don't you push me! throws Josh out of the line and attacks him Josh: Why, Milfred? Drake: to stop the fight Break it up. Pirate Boy: They're hurting Milfred Mouse! Pirate Boy's Mom: Security! keep fighting until the whistle blows and four guards approach Officer Jackson: Alright, that's it. Get off Milfred Mouse. Milfred Mouse: Yeah, get him off of me! He attacked me. Josh: But, but he started it. Drake: That mouse is very aggressive! Officer Jackson: Look, you mess with the mouse, you go to the back of the line. Drake & Josh: What? Officer Jackson: You with these guys? Megan: Never seen them before in my life. Officer Jackson: Come on! Drake & Josh: Megan! guards takes them back to the end of the line Milfred Mouse: distantly Yeah, yeah, get outta here! in line claps blue arrow wooshes and cut to home with Papa Nichols tying Craig and Eric to chairs and picks up a broom Papa Nichols: Alright. For the last time, what have you done with Colonel Bradford? Craig: We don't know. Eric: We're not Germans. Craig: We're from Lawndale. Eric: Uh, actually, I'm from North Lawndale. See, last year, city council-- cell phone rings Papa Nichols: What's that noise?! Where's it coming from? Eric: My shirt pocket? Papa Nichols: it out from Eric's shirt pocket What is this? Is it some kind of weapon? Are you two from the future?! Eric: No, that's just my cell phone. Papa Nichols: It's a trick. INCOMING!!! throws it at the wall and breaks it Eric: gasps Oh no! He ruined my picture phone! It had all of our vacation photos on it. Craig: From Niagara Falls? Aw, man. green arrow wooshes with Drake and Josh at the end of the line and Josh trying to get a hold of Eric, but no answer Josh: and hangs up Oh, man, this is not good. Eric always answers his cell phone. Drake: Dude, I'm sure Papa Nichols is still sound asleep. Josh: No. That's not the point, alright? We have to go home. There's no way we can ride The Demonator and be home before Mom and Dad get-- Drake: Yes we can. Speaker: Please exit The Demonator to your left. people and Megan walk out of the ride and she has a Demonator shirt and her hair looks crazy Megan: Hello. Drake: You rode The Demonator? Josh: She rode The Demonator. Megan: Oh, I rode The Demonator. Drake: And? Josh: How was it? Megan: It was like taking a piggyback ride from a wild tiger through the eye of a tornado. Josh: Alright, we're staying. Drake: Yeah, that's my boy. Megan: Hey, give me the car keys. I gotta go lie down. gives her the keys and she walks away, moaning Josh: Hey, you really think we can ride The Demonator and be home before Mom and Dad get back? Drake: Okay, but let's take this through, alright? at Josh's watch It's been 17 minutes since we were at the sign that said "2 Hours From This Point," you figure an hour and 43 minutes for the line, 6 minutes to ride The Demonator, 13 minutes to find the car, and 22 minutes to drive home, that puts us at the front door at exactly 10:58, which is 2 minutes before Mom and Dad said to be home. Josh: Alright, like if you could figure all that out, why are you failing math? Drake: Because this is important. and Josh walk up a little closer blue arrow wooshes and cut to home with Craig and Eric trying to untie themselves Eric: Almost-- finally get the rope off Craig: We're free. Craig & Eric: Yeah! run off, but Papa Nichols confronts them and they run away from him, then sit back down and he ties them back up Oh, oh. We're sorry, we're sorry, so sorry, we're sorry. green arrow wooshes and cut to The Demonator Speaker: Please exit the The Demonator to your left. women walk away as Drake and Josh come out wearing Demonator shirts and their hair look crazy Drake: Oh. Josh: My. Drake & Josh: God. Drake: We rode The Demonator. Josh: The greatest roller coaster in the history of mankind. Drake: It's better than love. Josh: It's better than girls. Drake: Okay, don't get crazy. Josh: at his watch Oh, man. Mom and Dad are gonna be home in 20 minutes. Drake: Okay, let's go. run off, but Drake stops to chat with the girls Hey, what's up? Girls: Hi. Josh: Drake Would you come on? Let's go! blue arrow wooshes and cut to home with Craig and Eric tied to chairs and Papa Nichols sleeping on the couch Josh and Megan run inside Josh: Oh, we made it. Drake: At 3 minutes before 11:00. breathe and see Craig and Eric Josh: Why are Craig and Eric tied up? Eric: Because your great-grandfather went berserk, that's why. Craig: He's an animal. Josh: What? untie them Eric: And I'll tell you something else. angry and shows them his broken cell phone YOU GUYS ARE GONNA BUY ME A NEW CELL PHONE! Megan: Walter and Audrey arriving Hey, Mom and Dad are coming up the driveway! Drake: Gotta get outta here. Leave. Eric: Yeah, would you be--? Josh: How do you do? send Craig and Eric out the back door as Josh zips his sweatshirt to cover up his Demonator shirt Josh: Drake has his Demonator shirt on Oh, dude, your Demonator shirt! Go, go, go. finds something to cover it up and pulls the curtains off Josh: Alright, that's a choice. pushes a chair in as Josh helps Drake wrap it around him Josh: Go, go, right. Come on, come on, come on. pushes another chair in Josh: Let's go. almost bumps in Josh Josh: You're right, you're right, you're alright, you're alright. all stand by each other and Audrey and Walter walk in Audrey: We're home. Josh: Drake, who has the curtains on him Hey, guys. Drake: Hey, how's it go? Audrey: And you're wearing my drapes, why? Drake: Well, you know, it's kinda little chilly in here. Audrey: And so to get warm, you thought it was a-- Josh: Dad, did you win the Weather Round Award? Walter: No, Bruce Windchill won. Megan: gasps Yay! and Walter look disappointed Aw. Night, Mom. Night, Walter. walks away Walter: When did she start calling me--? Audrey: I don't know. So how did everything go tonight with Papa Nichols? Drake: Ahh, perfect. Josh: Great. Yeah, he, uh, just slept all night long. Drake: As we watched him. Josh: Yep. Walter: Well, I guess I should wake him up and take him to the guest room. over to Papa Nichols, who is still sleeping Papa Nichols, his shoulder Papa Nichols. Wake up. It's time to-- Papa Nichols: up and punches him Ahh! off the couch and laughs Nice try, German. USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! runs off credits Category:Transcripts